“The Zo" (as my cute little Einstein-hair cherub is now called sometimes), is anything but helpful. She does not want me to do anything but hang with her. I really thought I could get a lot done with her around, but that was when she slept more. It’d be fine if she wanted to get her nails done or watch the latest episode of the “Big Bang Theory.” But no, she wants to walk around the kitchen and stare at boring things like lights.She used to chill on her back for hours, just looking at the ceiling--basically like a little sunbather relaxing in the living room.Now she screams when I put her down, and basically runs my life. I feel like her nanny. Oh, wait, that's who I am.

The problem is, she is getting smarter. She wants to move her little legs, but she is not physically capable of doing like....anything at all.Yesterday at church I was talking to another new mom about my problem. Her daughter, Leia, was born only three days after Zoe. I told her that it has been hard recently because Zoe can't roll over, sit, or stand on her own (obviously). (Zoe can sit if she’s up against the couch and stand if you play with her). The other mom said that recently Leia has learned to jump in her "jumper". This has Leia a little more occupied while she does chores around the house.                                                                       Immediately, I knew this was the answer. Chris and I rushed home to put the Zo in her jumper. We cheered, we yelled, we tried 'fake' jumping by moving her legs for her.               

Nothing.  She drooled on her jumper and tried to bite it.  Zoe cannot jump. I mean, we were still working on rolling here, okay? She is about a month behind on rolling. Last week, I finally admitted that Zoe cannot roll to our Pediatrician. I really thought she was going to say:

 “Don’t worry about it, parents worry too much.” Or “they all develop differently.” No. She paused. Then she upped tummy time to four times a day instead of one. All so that Zoe could learn to roll over.  Four times a day. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that Zoe isn’t the only one who hates tummy time.I hate tummy time. Chris hates tummy time. We all hate tummy time. I have been trying to do it more often, but "the Zo" literally starts screaming about it after about a minute. And she will not roll over. She is like a beetle on its back squirming and rocking back and forth helplessly.Nothing happens. Even if we cheer. Usually, we all (meaning like 5-6 members of the Meade family) gather around to watch her do tummy time and cheer to provide some much needed motivation. 

“The Zo” cannot roll over and now she is behind on jumping. Now, I know all of you amazing moms out there are thinking: “Don’t worry, she’ll learn in her own time.” And “every child is different”, etc.  Maybe you are thinking: “does she have anything better than this to worry about?”

The answer is no. My life revolves around tummy time. 

The thing is, maybe I am getting a little cabin fever or something because you guys, I have nothing else to think about right now but:

milk

poop

drool

rattles

tummy time

and …when “the Zo” will learn to jump. Seriously, just feel sorry for me. Or, rather, feel sorry for the Zo whose mom is freaking out on her.