Breastfeeding: Things You May not Know
 
2. You Will Feel Guilty When It Hurts.
You know those idyllic pictures of a mother sitting in the soft light of their bedroom with their baby nuzzled up against their breasts? You know that peaceful smile  tugging at the corner of her mouth? Well, that was what I expected, right off the bat.
  Within the first few days of giving birth, I thought I was the worst mom. Breastfeeding was frustrating and painful. It wasn't a soft, cuddly, bonding experience like I thought it would be. Instead, I spent the second day in the hospital crying large tears and cringing every time my baby started crying from hunger. I kept thinking, "How can I not want to feed my baby?" and "Can she really be hungry again after only 20 minutes?"
  I remember the second night in the hospital, after almost 36 hours with little sleep, I gulped down huge tears while sobbing to my husband Chris, "I don't know what I'm doing wrong! I'm a bad mom." 
   I had only had 36 hours of being a mom. I though I was already a failure.
Breastfeeding can make you feel like all the preparation you did---
reading What to Expect the First Year,
thinking about her tiny toes,
eating lettuce and carrots,
practicing weird labor positions
not taking Nyquil when you were coughing up green phlegm,
was pointless.