The whole stay-at-home mom thing is incredibly confusing.

If you google "stay at home mom"  you are bound to come up with a million advertisements claiming that "you can earn 1,000/week working at home!" . These are seemingly aimed at moms desperate to find a way to care for their own kids.

 There are  also dozens of chat sites . Both sides seem to be trying to convince the other side that they have it better.
Women who stay at home say they spend endless time in googoo-gaagaa land. They wish they could enjoy adult conversation once in a while.
Working women angrily denounce stay-at-home moms for bemoaning the luxury of hanging out with their children. "If I could afford it...I would stay home too," is a common cry from the working camp. 

"You can afford it", say the mom's at home. "Everyone who cuts costs can live on one income!", or "it's not some dreamy vacation!"
Indignation seems to be the one thing both sides have in common.

In the real world, the whole debate can easily border on offensive to some people. When I went to a baby shower at Chris' school (after Zoe was born), I talked to one father who had a strong opinion.
"Women who don't stay home and take care of their children shouldn't have children." He told me.
Shouldn't have children? Really?
 I couldn't believe that he could feel that strongly about the issue.
At the same baby shower, I had two women ask me, "So when are you returning to work?" as if that were the natural question for the mother of a 4-week old baby.

Women get defensive when you ask them if they are working. They get defensive when you ask them if they are staying at home.
I found myself trying to justify my situation when people asked me whether I was teaching this year.
"I'm staying home, for now," I tell them "I'll get a job in a couple of months though."
Why do we feel defensive?
Nowadays, it feelss like being a stay-at-home mom is just not good enough. But, if you are a working mom, you are often judged for not spending enough time with your kids.
Women have been backed into a corner. We can't do it all. I guess we'll just be left to defend our own choices--even if we aren't comfortable with them ourselves.