Letters to Zoe

    Last year, around this time, I found out I was pregnant. It seems like ages ago, because Zoe has become such a staple in my life. I remember though a time where I felt a crippling, ridiculous amount of fear over my pregnancy.
Now, granted, I was working 60 hours a week. I was constantly sick from the flu or strep, crying in the shower every single day, and waking up with mini "panic" attacks. Sometimes I would be so upset that I'd fall asleep crying, and wake up crying from being asleep (if you think this is impossible...trust me, it is not).
    Last year permanently changed me. I'll write more about this sometime--but basically I was stuck in a job with no security where people got fired on a whim (they could always hire someone else in the economy).
 I was constantly being negatively critiqued--oftentimes with feedback that wasn't even related to my performance. In addition, I was so exhausted from being pregnant that I would work from 6am-5pm, then arrive home at 6pm and be in bed by 7 pm. My husband can attest to this.
In the midst of being barely able to take care of myself, I was suddenly charged with taking care of one more person-- a little being that I had yet to meet.
To be honest, there were days where I wasn't so sure this baby-thing would work out.
(There was never a moment where I thought about not having a baby--there were definitely moments when I wasn't sure that I was ready to be a mom.)

So much has changed. It's hard to believe that last Christmas we found out we were having a baby, last Spring we found out that baby was a girl--little Zoe, and that only five months ago I went through the amazing several hours that was giving birth to her.

In the past few months, I have watched my smiling little angel go from vaguely being aware of the world around her, to goofily giving me a smile that I know is just for me.
 She went from sleeping all the time (except for night time) to sleeping only when she is warm, comfortable and in a dark place.
Her hair went from pitch black to honey-brown. Her eyes went from blueish-black to a gorgeous navy.
Most of all, every morning, when she wakes up I get to be there for cuddle time.
I get to help her stand on her wobbly two legs.
I get to see her bobble-head neck get stronger.
I  watch her goofy half grin when she sees herself in the mirror.
There is so much that changes every day with her.

The key is this: last year I spent so much time being afraid of this year. This year I don't want to spend being terrified of next year.  Oftentimes, God works things out in ways we could never imagine. I had no idea I would love being a mom. I couldn't have anticipated the cocktail of hormones, smiles and baby smell that would propel me into love.
So. To 2012, Come on in!

        A few weeks ago, on a trip to a Safeway in Everett, Washington, a 4-year old named Savannah ate some apricots.  The apricots were eaten straight out of the bag and placed back on the shelf.  Savannah was not left to eat her "stolen" apricots in peace. A security guard apprehended her and her father and proceeded to ban them both from shopping at Safeway again. 
      The little girl was made to write ,although she has yet to learn to read or write, her name down on a piece of paper to acknowledge that she understood the consequences of her action.
So how did it turn out?
     The Safeway security guard was fired for berating the little girl.
     Safeway apologized. Happy Ending.
You can find this story Here

    Fine. I understand that the customer is always right. Obviously, this was a four-year old who didn't know any better. Four year-olds do weird things.
However.....
    My first question is: where was her father in this whole deal? Apparently, his back was turned, in the sense that he never saw her eat the dried apricots.
 Yeah, right.
    Now, let me qualify all of this by saying that I know kids can do things behind parents' backs. As a teacher of 32 six-year old students, I am aware of the mental toll it takes to be aware of each child.My friend,  Mallory has a sister who had a child call 911 when she was busy teaching.

    This dad had one child. In his cart. One child, stuffing ping-pong size dried apricots in her face. I mean, come on people, we aren't talking about mini m &m's here.
 
     Also, who hasn't 'opened' something before the check-out line to snack on it before it was bought? Even if you haven't, you've probably seen other people who have. This little girl opened the snack, and put it back. I have a feeling they weren't going to pay for those apricots...
    And if that is true, then who should have been arrested for shoplifting?

    It makes me mad when adults don't take full responsibility for their actions. The four year-old was stuck between two irresponsible adults---an overzealous security guard (poor guy probably hadn't seen this amount of action in years)--and an irresponsible father.   
    I'm gonna have to say... the adult is wrong. The Dad of the apricot-stuffing 4 year-old.
    I have seen enough  cases of adults acting un-adultlike instead of stepping up to be good examples.


    Take a second instance: a girl I do not know on Facebook ( a friend of my cousin's), who is my Facebook friend. Last week she posted this as her status:

JUST CHAIN SMOKED A FULL PACK OF CIGARETTES. And I'm pregnant. And I got married at 19! Say one more word to me, maybe ill go drink a six pack too....and possibly drive without a seatbelt :)

    I agonized over whether to say something to this girl on Facebook for days. I even looked up the effects of smoking, some of which include:

• Lower the amount of oxygen available to you and your growing baby.
• Increase your baby's heart rate.
• Increase the chances of miscarriage and stillbirth.
• Increase the risk that your baby is born prematurely and/or born with low birth weight.
• Increase your baby's risk of developing respiratory (lung) problems.

    Now, I know that I normally would not have a right to say something to this girl, but she posted this status on Facebook! Facebook is an open forum.

    In the end, I didn't say anything. Eventually, enough moms were offended that she apparently decided to "cut back" on her habit this week.

    Has anyone ever seen someone do something "un-adultlike" that effects a child? When is it okay to step in?